Elephant Series Jokes

A small change of species...

A king used to bring in a new wife every day. Spend the night with her and throw her out into the moat surrounding his castle in the morning. Then do the same thing over and over again. The question is - what was the song he sang every time he chucked out the wife ??\

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"Hume tum se pyaar kitna, ye hum nahi jaante. MAGAR jee nahi sakte, tumhare bina"

Champu and Pampu

There are 2 elephants named Champu and Pampu who are best friends..Champu has a solid crush on a female elephant named Champi...One day Champu musters all the courage he has and proposes Champi but unfortunately Champi turns down his proposal..Champu is totally heartbroken so Pampu decides to go and console his best friend..He suggests that both of them go and play on the see-saw..After playing on the see-saw for some time,the see-saw breaks and both of them fall down..Which song do they start singing at this point??

socho..
socho socho..
C'mon rack your brains...
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nahi pata ????
SEE-SAW HO YAA DIL HO...AAKHIR TOOT JAATA HAI...

4 elephants were hanging on a tree

4 elephants were hanging on a tree by a rope each, but suddenly one elephant falls.
why???
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.'coz he lost his attention, and slipped thru... now second elephant falls......
why??
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'coz he was tied separately with the first one. now third also falls.........
why?? (he was not tied to anyone of them)
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'coz the rope broke at his weight........ now the last one hanging also falls...
why??
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he thinks that a game of 'falling down' is going on.........
now the tree falls down.........
this is good one.........
why??
because......... the tree felt that it was an elephant


another one......
parrot sits on a man's shoulder and the man dies.......... why??
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coz elephant was named 'parrot'.

Elephant that never washes

What do you call a elephant that never washes?
A smellyphant!

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?
Anything you want as he can't hear you!

What do you call an elephant that's small and pink?
A failure!

What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
You would miss most of the film!

What do you call someone with an elephant on their head?
Squashed!

What's big, grey and flies straight up?
An elecopter!

What's big and grey and red?
A sunburnt elephant!

What weighs 4 tons and is bright red?
An elephant holding its breath!

What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet!

What did the hunter say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?
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Look, a herd of elephants is coming over the hill


What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?
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Yayayooyoayoyoyaoyoayo

This lot seems deadly

How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.

Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that went near the oak tree at 3 o'clock.

How do you kill a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a green elephant?
Paint it blue, then kill it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a red elephant?
With a red elephant gun.

How do you kill a white elephant?
Tell the elephant it has no clothes on, it turns red with shame and then kill it with a red elephant.

How do you kill a grey elephant?
Keep it in a refrigerator. It will turn blue because of the cold, then kill it with a blue elephant gun

How do you kill a pink elephant?
Put a cheescake and put three nuts on it. Then put it in the middle of the forest. The elephant will come and eat the three nuts, and leave the cake and go away. The next day, put the same cake with two nuts. The elephant will again eat the two nuts but not the cake. The third day, put the cake, but put a single nut on it. The elephant will consume the single nut and go away. The final day, put the cake with no nuts. The elephant will come, find no nuts, and will turn red with rage. Then kill him with a red elephant gun.

Three Elephants in a Taxi

How do you get three elephants in a taxi?
One in the front next to the driver, and two in the back.

How do you know there is an elephant in your house?
There's a taxi outside with two impatient elephants.

And what if you don't notice the taxi?
There are footprints in the butter.

How do you get an elephant into the refrigerator?
Open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.

How do you get two elephants in the refrigerator?
Open the door, put in the first elephant, then put in the second elephant, then close the door.

How do you get six elephants in the refrigerator?
Put three elephants in a taxi, put three elephants in another taxi, then put the two taxis in the fridge.

Ways elephants hide

Why do elephants have cherry red eyes?
To hide behind cherry trees

Why did the elephant paint the bottom of his feet yellow?
To hide in a bowl of custard

Why do elephants wear little green caps?
To sneak across a billiards table

Have you seen an elephant hiding behind a cherry tree or a bowl of custard ever? Or sneaking across a billiards table?

Where are our favorite elephants?

Where are our favorite elephants?
What has 6 legs, 3 ears, 4 tusks, and 2 trunks?
An elephant with spare parts


What is large and gray and goes around and around in circles?
An elephant stuck in a revolving door


What game do elephants like to play most?
Squash


What did the cat say to the elephant?
Meow

What did the grape say to the elephant?
Nothing, grapes can't talk


Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So that they can hide in strawberry patches

Why do elephants hide in strawberry patches?
So that they can jump out and stomp on people


How can you tell when an elephant is under your bed?
Your nose is squashed against the ceiling

3 ants

Once 3 ants were walking down the road.....where they came across an elephant....1 asked the 2nd 'chal saale ko maarte hain kya???bahut natak kar raha hai??'
to this the 2nd says no
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why????
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socho
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arre coz the 3rd says 'jaane de na yaar.....woh akela hain hum toh teen hain!!!!!'

lift elephant with one hand

Q. how can u lift elephant with one hand?



A. There is no elephant with one hand

Red and blue pants

3 elephants
2 wear red pants while 1 wears blue pant
why is it so
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socho socho
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arre its so simple
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2 red pants pe ek blue pant freee

cool one

Q: There was one sukheala, aur haadi aadmi 'Alif', He was driving on the road. achanak uski car khadde mein phass jaati hain. Woh bahut koshish karta hain car ko bahar nikalene ke liye par fail ho hata hain as expected. Phir thak kar, woh road par baith jaata hain
aur tabhi ek cheenti wahan aati hain aur usse kaat ti hain. Bas uske baad woh ek ungli se apni car ko bahar nikal leta hian...batao kaise???




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A: Cheenti kaatne ke baad uske paas Alif-ant (elephant) ki taqat aa jaati hian:D....

Elephant with no legs

Q: Where do you find a elephant with no legs?
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A: Right where you left him

A sexy Female Elephant

Question: In an elephant school, some loafer
elephants
were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female
elephant passes by. What do the loafer elephants
say
about her?
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Ans: rapchick maal, 36000 - 24000 - 36000!!

Elephant and Naked Man

Q: An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a naked man standing in a clearing.
The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and what does he says??
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A:How the hell do you manage to feed yourself with that?"

8 Ton Elephant

Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
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A: Any damn place where he pleases!

Elephant sits on your fence

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
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A: Time to get a new fence.

Why do elephants have red eyes?

Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
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A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees

Tarzan and 1,000 elephants

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
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A: Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
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A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.